Friday the 13th one half: Jason Takes Nerima
by Technomaru
Summary: After his trip to Manhattan, the corpse of Jason Voorhees drifts to the Nerima District where Hikaru Gosunkugi uses magic to make him his slave, can Team Ranma destroy Jason once and for all? or will heads roll?


**Friday the 13th ½: Jason Takes Nerima**

A/n: I do not own Friday the 13th nor Ranma ½ and if I did, there should be an OVA based on this story.

Note: this story takes place after "Friday the 13th part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

Trivia note: in Friday the 13th part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, the voice actors who voiced Tsubasa Kurenai and Hikaru Gosunkugi appear in it…AS JASON'S VICTIMS! If you don't believe me, watch the end credits.

(The title Friday the 13th 1/2 : Jason Takes Nerima appears then the song "The Darkest Side of the Night" by Metropolis plays in the background, which shows the images of Nerima until it shows Jason in the NYC sewer system)

Taking place a few months after his little visit from Manhattan, Jason Voorhees did survive the toxic waste incident in the NYC sewer system and his slowly regenerating hockey masked carcass is now drifting out of Manhattan and is going towards the ocean and latches to a boat that is going towards the Nerima District of Japan…CH CH CH HA HA HA…

The next day in Furinkan High, Ranma is having a usual fight with "upperclassman Kuno" and Hikaru Gosunkugi is somehow in the middle of it, getting trampled by them, then Kodachi gets mad at him for not giving her any pictures of Ranma and ends up fired and replaces by Sasuke, his biggest shock of the day is when Akane still ignores him. After School, Gosunkugi swears to get back at those who wronged him and win the heart of Akane Tendo so he puts a Ranma straw doll on a tree and pounds it into the tree only for the tree to be Tsubasa Kurenai in disguise and looked very pissed. Confusing Tsubasa for a girl, Gosunkugi decides to ask "her" out only to receive the mother of all ass-kicks as well as a purple nurple and a knock to the head.

After surviving Tsubasa's wrath, Gosunkugi starts walking home till he sees a strange hockey masked corpse and starts thinking he should somehow use his "magic" to resurrect it as a golem slave and kill those who wronged him so he somehow drags it to a shed in the forest and uses his magic tools to perform a ritual to revive Jason Voorhees. "You must be Jason Voorhees, the crystal lake killer" says a unusually happy Gosunkugi, "well when I revive you, you will be my slave and will kill those I command! But first I wonder what you look like without that mask…" as he takes off the mask he was horribly disgusted and says "man, you look more repulsive than Miss Shampoo's grandmother, Naraku, and Miss Kodachi put together" and so he casts his spells: "selur seehroov nosaj, snekcihc ekil I, scifnaf sdneirflrig ym daer, ti eveileb, ilevi amme evol I". then all of a sudden, the corpse of Jason Voorhees rises and looks at the strange teen but does nothing, then gosunkugi tells him "I want you to kill the strange transvestite dressed as a tree on my command!" then the hockey masked hulk nods in agreement.

As Tsubasa waits for Ukyo to walk this way he sees Gosunkugi with a demonic smile on his face and tells him "your death will be a example of my supernatural power!" to which Tsubasa just says "what are you gonna do? Bore me to death with a game of dungeons and dragons?" then Jason slowly shows up and upon recognizing him, Tsubasa makes a really feminine scream and tries to escape but the tree disguise won't budge then Jason hacks Tsubasa in the back with his axe then removes Tsubasa from the tree then continues to hack every part of him while blood splashes everywhere, even on Gosunkugi face as he cackles insanely at the idea of what he unholy terror he is unleashing in the neighborhood.

The next morning as Kasumi gets the newspaper and screams only to Soun to point out that's something she never does (except for the "younger men bore me" comment from the first issue but that's a different story) then Ranma and Akane were shocked at what the headline was. "LOCAL CROSSDRESSER (not Ranma) FOUND HORRIBLY MUTILATED TO DEATH, POLICE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND AT TIME AS USUAL" the headline read, then Ranma remembered something like this happened in New York months ago but he doubts this has a connection to Tsubasa's death, but then Ukyo shows up and hears the news too, "Ranma hunny, what can be the cause of such a horrible crime?" Then they notice a image of a straw doll nailed to Tsubasa's tree costume and pause to wonder then all 3 walked to school, worried that someone out there wants to kill them…in Ranma's case everyone wants to kill them so he turns to Akane and she replies "look Ranma everytime I beat you up, it means I want to practice my martial arts on you and I don't mean to actually kill you…oh Ranma I'm scared!" she cries in Ranma's arms and Ranma just says "it's ok Akane, I'll protect you!" then suddenly turns bishonen mode until Ukyo glomps Ranma and a half angry Akane says "I'll let that one slide"

Then after school, Gosunkugi walks up to the 3 with a satanic smile on his face and tells them "after months of humiliation, torment, and Akane ignoring my feelings for her, I have came up with a way to destroy you Ranma Saotome!" then Ranma replies "I've heard that so many times and yet I'm still standing, you wouldn't happen to have another techno-suit on you now would you?", "you have a crush and you never told me about it?" said a rather blushing Akane. Then Gosunkugi uses a magic candle to summon Jason Voorhees and he just stands there, "this is Jason Voorhees, the legendary Crystal Lake killer, he has disposed of that disgusting transvestite but I'm saving him for you! attack Jason Voorhees, ATTACK!" all 3 were very shocked at Gosunkugi plan yet nervous at how to attack a unstoppable killing machine like Jason Voorhees, then Ranma decides to fight him alone.

Then Ranma runs up to Jason and delivers a "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken" attack on him but it doesn't phase him then he uses the "moko takabisha" and that wouldn't work either, but then Ranma bravely uses a flying kick towards this strange amulet on Jason's neck then he starts acting strangely. "Saotome you fool! The amulet is what makes him under control, now he will kill at random!" yells a rather frightened Gosunkugi just as Jason snaps out of his spell and then grabs Gosunkugi by the head and puts a nail between his fingers, then Jason drives his fist with a nail on it into Gosunkugi abdomen and into a tree like how Gosunkugi would do with his straw dolls. Then principal Kuno shows up and notices the strange hockey masked man and says "ey' brudda, you be getting' a demerit for killin' da weird brudda, how about a haircut?" then the principal notices that Jason has no hair then Jason grabs the shears from the principal and then he uses the shears to slice off not only his hair but his entire scalp till Kuno's blood and brains are exposed and ripped off from his scalp…now the 3 should be worried. Ranma, Akane, and Ukyo start running into the city to warn people about Jason then Tatewaki Kuno shows up and at the same time, Akane pours water on Ranma thus making Kuno says "fear not beautiful ladies, I shall protect you from this evil demon from hell…blindfolded!" then as he puts on a blindfold he starts fighting off Jason, causing Ranma to say "and here I thought that Beavis and butthead are total nimrods" then Jason manages to grab the kendo stick and impail Kuno in the mouth, towards the same tree Gosunkugi is impailed on and blood squirted towards the ground. The three manage to get back to the Tendo dojo and the minute Akane finds P-Chan, Ranma finds a note that read "dear Ranma and Akane, we have heard about Jason Voorhees's return to Nerima somehow so us, Kasumi, and Nabiki managed to get the hell out of her and leave you 2 and the master behind, good luck! Signed Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome, p.s. please forgive me Akane and son!". "those bastards! Said a rather angry Ranma, "I was planning to do that first!" resulting in Akane and Ukyo bashing Ranma with their weapons but they realize it's a waste of time and decide to sneak into the cat café for some help till Ryoga suddenly shows up soaking wet and tells them that the news announced Jason Voorhees was in town earlier and they haven't gotten a moment to rest and must make a plan to destroy him once and for all!

At the cat café, Ranma, Akane, and Ukyo see the counter is barricaded and cologne points at them with a gun and asks them if they have been in any summer camps lately. "Grandmamma, that is Ranma, Akane, Ryoga, and spatula girl, they might want to help us dispose of crazy hockey man" says Shampoo, then cologne suggests "perhaps I shall use my Chinese Amazon weapons, medicines, and all your strength combined to send him to oblivion but we need a plan but first…where is the so called "crazy hockey man" anyway"?

Meanwhile… a rather happy happy is on his usual nightly "stroll" and starts saying "What a haul, what a haul! Beautiful panties all for the taking! Huh? What's that, umm…the hockey rink is a few blocks down, umm why are you staring at my panty hoard? And what's with the knife? Huh? Hey let go of me! Let go of me! Oh no! Oh no! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Then everyone at the cat café heard Happosai scream from the cat café and they realize that Jason just found someone who loves pre-marital sex. Suddenly, black rose petals appear out of nowhere and Kodachi Kuno does her usually annoying laugh and says to them "oh Ranma darling, that monster killed my brother and father so it's up to me to prevent him from killing the one I love with all my heart". Then the girls get angry and shampoo says "aiyaa! you perverted rose girl, shampoo hope crazy hockey man crush skull and make you into chow mein!" Kodachi then says with confidence "silly Chinese hussy, the black rose fears no homicidal goalie and shall protect his love by any cost and no one will stand in my way…no one!" just then Jason slowly appears right behind her then suddenly grabs Kodachi by her head, crushes her skull and puts her head into a pot of chow mein and then stares at the rest of the crew, "aiyaa! Shampoo have sixth sense, now if only shampoo predict Ranma be shampoo's husband and shampoo finally stop speaking third person". While Jason is busy with Kodachi the crew ran the hell out of the restaurant and they hear a strange sound in the alley.

They see Happosai in a trash bin covered in blood, then Happosai comes to and tells them "there is a giant hockey masked monster that seems to dislike perverts and I barely survived the encounter, Ranma I'm willing to destroy that thing with you guys and make the world safe for perverts again!", only for Akane to say "well if you perv out on us, we'll gladly surrender you to Jason Voorhees, believe it!" However when they spy on Jason, he is tearing off the heads of innocent snorks at the local aquarium then Akane, Shampoo, and Ukyo pull out their mallet, bonboris, and spatula in order to attack Jason but all 3 weapons manage to break into pieces when impacted on Jason's head but then he angrily grabs Ukyo and is about to crush her head but then Ranma came up with a way to distract Jason so Ukyo can escape, Ranma yells out "Hey Jason look what I'm doing! I'm humping Akane, believe it!" then Akane gets shocked but realizes 2 things such as it's a ploy to save Ukyo and distract Jason and second he's in female form at the time so Jason just ignores "him". Akane then splashes Ranma with warm water, then Ranma pretends to hump Akane and this gets Jason so furious that he drops Ukyo and relentlessly chases after Ranma all over the city till Ranma shouts "NOW!" then cologne pulls out her Chinese Amazon weapons such as the hay fever pollen mask but Jason can't sneeze, the lens of invincibility but Jason is too stupid and slow to submit to it, and finally the pacifier of hell which is a pacifier with fire powers but it does affect him, setting him ablaze.

As Jason was in flames, mousse strikes Jason with his hidden weapons but Jason grabs the chains and is about to go into the flames till Happosai throws his happo fire bombs at Jason but then Jason uses mousse's chains to tie Happosai's neck and pulls him into the flames with him, incinerating Happosai till he becomes ashes (he made a ash out of himself). After Jason's flames were put out, Ranma and Ryoga have no choice but to unite and defeat Jason together then Ranma remembers Ryoga's special attack and tells Ryoga that Jason is gonna grab Akane, stab her and gut her till the streets will flow with her blood and then… "Enough Ranma!" interrupted Ryoga, "I will put my life on the line in order to protect Akane from this unholy demon" then all of a sudden, Ryoga uses his most powerful version of his attack "SHI…SHI…HOKOUDAN!" and then a massive blast of energy fires from his hands and blasts Jason towards Ranma who then uses the "Hiryu Shoten Ha", allows the tornado to suck him up and then uses the "Hiryu Korin Dan" on Jason and the last thing Ranma saw before blasting Jason to oblivion was that Jason falls into a very deep well…

As Ranma and Ryoga joins the others they see the well that Jason fell into and Ranma just says "well I guess he's Kagome's problem now!" then all of a sudden 2 ghosts suddenly appear and they are Hikaru Gosunkugi and his new girlfriend Kogane Musashi whom forces Gosunkugi to apologize for resurrecting Jason and tells them that Happosai survived the blaze and then Happosai just shows up and tells everyone "I have seen hell and it involves giving Kodachi Kuno and Rosanne Barr a sponge bath. So the 2 ghosts go to their resting place and the Ranma crew still wonder how to clean up Jason's mess but then Akane angrily comes up to Ranma and says "you know Ranma, I'm still mad at you for humping me and what you said about me to Jason according to Ryoga… IF JASON VOORHEES CAN'T KILL YOU I WILL!" then Akane tries to dump Ranma into the well while the others try to stop her.

Then suddenly a taxi appears and Soun, Genma, Nabiki, and Kasumi come out of it and Soun and Genma congratulate Ranma for destroying Jason but then Ranma and Akane get angry at them and they evilly say at the same time "you left us to be attacked by Jason! Besides, this fanfic needs more violence, believe it!" then they both stomp towards their fathers and gave them the beatings of a lifetime while Kasumi cheerfully notes "at least that bad ol' Mr. Jason Voorhees will never bother anyone again…believe it!" However, she fails to hear strange sounds echoing the deep deep well… CH CH CH HA HA HA CH CH CH HA HA HA

THE END…?


End file.
